The Modern Gladiator | A Man's Guide to Living

Spring Cleaning: Is Your “House” in Order for Some Serious Dating?

on April 10 | in Cover, Issue 15, Relationships & Dating | by | with No Comments

What you need to do to let love in.

You woke up this beautiful spring morning and realized that things aren’t exactly as you’d hoped they would be in the relationship sector of your life. Have you been wondering why?

“Perhaps it’s time to take a good hard look at the state of your emotional, mental, and physical ‘house.’ The health of your ‘house’ will determine your ability to date effectively so you can have the strong, lasting relationship you seek.”

So where do you start?

Searching something in refrigeratorCLEAN OUT THE FRIDGE – How bad is it? In order to understand the scope of this project, you must take a good hard look at your emotional, mental, and physical “house.”

First, make a list of everything in your life that seems to be working.

Make the list based on what makes you happy, fulfilled, and brings you good energy… In other words, what fills your tank?

Then make a list of those things in your life that aren’t working.

Consider the things that bring you down, cause stress, make you sad, or drain your tank.

Now make a list of your core values by asking yourself, “How do I want to live my life so that it is fulfilled and joyful?”

Keep it short and to the point by focusing on three to five values.

It’s time to make room on the shelf:

  • If it’s not working and it doesn’t align with your core values, toss it!
  • If it’s working, but it doesn’t align with your core values and what you ultimately want, then get rid of it.

You catch my drift… You’re making room in your life for the things that add value and align with what you ultimately want in your life, and in a relationship. On the flip side, if you find that you have a few items on your “not working” list that are in direct alignment with your core values, you need to put a plan in place to move them onto the “working” list.


Have you left the past behind you? If you do any of these things, then you likely have some work to do before you are emotionally ready and open to dating effectively so you can let love in:

  • You tell the story of how your ex wronged you over and over again.
  • You reminisce about all the great things you and your ex were going to do together.
  • You are constantly angry, depressed, sad, or resentful.
  • You carry a guilt that is so heavy it weighs you down.
  • You dwell on what you should have done differently.
  • You use your kids as a conduit of communication with your ex.
  • Or, you constantly make excuses for why you haven’t found that special someone.

Getting to the place of acceptance and looking forward to a brighter, better future is hard work. If you haven’t done the hard work to forgive and forget, then you may want to consider seeking some professional help.


Would you want to date you?

“Take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself, ‘Would I want to put my arms around THAT if I were a woman?'”

Be realistic. I’m not suggesting you do a complete makeover that includes hair color, a complete body wax, and obsessively pumping iron at the gym. In fact, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that most women would prefer that you don’t do all of those things. The woman you want wants the authentic you! What I am suggesting is that you trim the hedges a little… a clean shaven neck, trimmed facial hair (assuming you have it), clean nails, fresh haircut, and cloths that fit properly. You know, put together!


This category isn’t just limited to your personal, physical “house”…

Is your home and car presentable enough for a date? If not, treat your poor car to a detailing, and run a dust cloth over the surfaces in your house. My ol’ pappy used to say, “You are what you wear.” If you, your home, and your car don’t look and smell fresh, then it’s probably a pretty good indicator that you’re not taking care of yourself in other ways either.


Let the cool, fresh spring air move things around in your mental “house”! We are all creatures of habit, but if you find that things aren’t working for you, then it’s probably time to do things differently.

“Change up your routine. Break bad habits. Let new people into your life.”

If you have a list of “must haves” in the woman that you want a relationship with, then throw away your ever-limiting list and write a new one that originates from an emotional place, and not a physical place, one that aligns with your core values. Get uncomfortable! By doing so, you’re able to bring down the barriers that keep you from finding love.

And finally… RE-DECORATE

Surround yourself with the people and the things that will attract what you want in your life and in a relationship. The law of attraction is a powerful force!

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