Congrats! You asked out that intriguing lady and she said YES to a first date. Now the question comes, “How do I make this date great?” First, keep in mind that a successful first date doesn’t necessarily lead to a second date. The main focus should be on creating an experience that will allow you to enjoy and get to know each other so you can both choose if you would like to hang out again. In all honesty, if you find out on the first date that you two aren’t a match—that counts as a win!
Here are 5 tips to set you up for success.
Location, location, location
As you choose the location of your first date, choose a place where you have the flexibility to exit the date within thirty minutes or extend it for an additional hour or so if things are going well. Asking a woman out for coffee or even a drink is a great way to keep things very casual and allows the option to leave after a half hour if you know it isn’t going to work. You can extend your time together by grabbing a bite to eat if things seem to be going well. If you want some bonus points, in your conversations before the date, take note of the things she likes. For example, if you find out that she has an affinity for microbrews, set your first date at a local microbrewery. If she mentions that she doesn’t like coffee, but loves tea, choose a local tea house versus coffee house for your first date.
Come prepared with some first date questions
Have some open-ended questions ready to be able to ask your date, such as, “So, what brought you to (enter your city name here)?” or “Tell me about your favorite trip.” Another good one: “What is your biggest accomplishment in life and why?” Asking open-ended questions are a great way to help move the conversation along as well as give you more insight to this woman.
Be ready to listen
As the saying goes, we have two ears and one mouth. Focus on using them proportionally. A great way to make your date feel special and respected is to actually listen to what she has to say. Show her you are listening by asking clarifying questions for the stories she is telling you.
Make her feel safe
Many guys don’t think of the safety aspect of dating the same way many women do. You can make her feel safe by offering to meet her at the location of the date instead of picking her up. Another thing I have experienced is making sure the woman has the gentleman’s first and last name as well as their phone number before ever meeting up.
Don’t go in for a good night kiss
Now, I know this is really hard guys, but….Don’t have any expectations or add any pressure around the physical aspect of the relationship on a first date—not even a goodbye kiss. Even if there is great chemistry and attraction, play it safe and don’t push the kiss. If the relationship lasts, you will have plenty of times to lock lips.
First dates can be awkward, but in reality, each one is an opportunity to spend some time with someone new and get to know them a little better. Keeping things light and showing respect are great ways to set the stage for experiencing each other without the pressure of creating a specific outcome.
About the Author: Tracy Fagan
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