Are you tired of not understanding how you can have happiness in your relationships? Happiness in relationships is possible—it’s a necessity, really. If you are not happy in your relationships, it’s time to do something about it. Today, take the bull by the horns and make a real change in your life.
Here are four steps to creating more happiness in your relationships:
Awareness
Bring into your awareness an action or result that you are getting in your life right now that you are not happy with.
Example: You have a passionless relationship, you are out of work and don’t know what you want to do for your next job, you are feeling overweight and don’t have the motivation to get to the gym, you know you are not eating right for you but you are not sure what steps to take to eat better, or you are feeling alone and unsure of who you can connect with to talk about your problems, etc. PICK ONE issue that is coming up for you in your life.
Allowing
In this step, you are allowing yourself the space to receive the help that you need to move out of your state of unhappiness with the relationship you picked in the awareness phase.
Right now you are most likely feeling unhappy, uncomfortable, uncertain about your relationship and it is making you feel queasy or shut down, and you are pulling back into your cave because you don’t know what to do to get from your state of unhappiness to happiness. There is hope. There is always a solution to how to move out of where you feeling today (that doesn’t feel very good to you) to where you would love to be!
At this phase of allowing, you are going to allow yourself to ask for help. This may mean you go to your pastor, find a meet-up group that inspires you, hire a coach, reach out to a friend and willingly share what is going on for you, join a men’s group, or go to a bookstore and find a book to read related to your issue above.
This is where you allow yourself space to move out of feeling stuck and unsure, to feeling inspired and filled with a clear answer of what to do next.
Pay attention to the details that the following will provide you. As you allow yourself to ask for help, help is what you will get. Be very open to what messages, signs, symbols, people, books, musical lyrics, etc. show up in your life as you allow yourself to ask for help. Just because you ask a friend for advice, don’t stop there. Pay attention throughout your day to all the messages that come your way as an answer to your desire to move out of an unhappy relationship into a happy one.
Once again, this step may seem very simple—and it is meant to be. Allow yourself permission to be your true self by asking for help at this step and becoming open to seeing how after you ask, you are given an answer in one way, shape, or form throughout your day. Stay open to receive it.
Appreciating
In the first two steps, you are being courageous and aware of the fact you are unhappy in one of your relationships in your life. At this phase, you are appreciating your struggles, pains, fears, and worries that are making you feel unhappy. By appreciating them, you are setting free your role in staying in this unhappy relationship and deciding to move forward into happiness in your life.
Here is where you are asked to take action steps to move you forward. Pay attention to the advice you received, signs that you saw throughout your day, and the small nudges you felt inside, because all of these are clues to what actions steps you are to take next.
Ultimately, you asked yourself what you can do next to move from unhappiness to happiness in a certain situation. This phase is where you appreciate the journey and put into action the steps shown to you. Pay attention, because by appreciating that you no longer want to remain stuck in this energy space of unhappiness, your outer world will start to show you clues as to how to get out of it, heal from it, and move on from it in amazing ways.
Activating
Once you put even one tiny step that you were given into action, you are activating a whole new energy and outcome in your life. The goal is to move out of unhappiness where you feel depressed, confused, uncertain, stressed, worried, and yucky into feeling confident, positive, expansive, playful, and happy again.
In this phase, you are going from feeling stuck in a state of breakdown to shifting your relationship for the better so that you walk around feeling energized with the realization that anything is possible again.
I invite you to move through all four of these steps at least once. It will change your life. Your relationship with yourself will transform through this process, too, and all of your relationships in your life can move from unhappy to authentically happy with love, joy, grace, and ease.
About the Author: Kelly Canull
